What Are Your Auto Destruct Stories? - The Affirmation Spot for Monday September 28, 2009
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For those of you familiar with Star Trek, you know that Federation starships are equipped with an auto-destruct feature. Auto-destruct is a decision of last resort to prevent the ship from falling into enemy hands. The feature is only used when all hope of another solution has been exhausted - basically when the captain and first officer have conceded defeat.Many of us have personal auto-destruct buttons and we regularly use them to concede defeat in situations in our lives. These auto-destruct buttons are the stories that we tell ourselves to prevent us from success or happiness. We allow doubt to creep into our minds and then we begin to solidify the doubt by articulating it.On Friday, I was observing a business sales new hire course at my company. I co-wrote the course and had not been in to visit for a while. The course is five days and on the final day there is a sales presentation.Before class started I happened to hear one of the young sales reps out in the hall telling his partner that he was nervous because he had never been any good at stand up presentations. He proceeded to tell the story of something that happened in a presentation in the 6th grade. "Ever since then," he said, "I've never been good at these presentations."When class started he recounted the story again in front of the instructors and the whole class. As the presentation began, it was clear he lacked confidence. This young sales rep - who otherwise seemed very talented - was struggling.He obviously has a habit hitting his auto-destruct when placed in the situation of doing a stand up presentation. Rather than affirming messages of "I can do it", he is sending the message to himself and everyone else that, "I am no good at this."He was done before he started his presentation.Do you ever do this to yoursel? What are the situations when you hit your auto-destruct button and self-destruct? How do you address them? Here are four ideas.
- Awareness - the first step is to be aware of situations when you hit auto-destruct. You probably can create a list of them without too much trouble. Be observant and notice situations when you do it.
- Tell Different Stories - once you are aware of situations when you hit auto-destruct, you can take steps to tell yourself different stories about yourself and your abilities. Focus on "I can" messages. Lose the baggage of past situations when you have come up short and focus on the success of this next opportunity.
- Coaching or Training - take steps to improve your skills. When you are more confident in your skills you become more confident in your ability to perform.
- Believe - you have to believe that something better is possible for you in that situation. It costs nothing for you to believe in yourself and everything not to.
You don't have to live according to old paradigms about yourself. You can change those paradigms, change the stories you tell yourself and others, and overcome those scenarios where you are prone to auto-destruct.Stay inspired!Ray2009 Affirmation"This year I am absolutely committed to being the person I came here to be!"